Oxford University and Alabama

Researchers at Oxford University complied this list of the ten most annoying phrases in the English language:

1 - At the end of the day
2 - Fairly unique
3 - I personally
4 - At this moment in time
5 - With all due respect
6 - Absolutely
7 - It's a nightmare
8 - Shouldn't of
9 - 24/7
10 - It's not rocket science

I would like to add:
11 - Now-a-days or Nowadays (for some reason, students believe this word exists)
12 - In today's society (a beautifully non-specific one)
13 - Since the beginning of time ('cause people just starting college are certainly experts on pre-history!)

In an effort to stop by complaining, I'm headed home to Alabama for the weekend. Some friends from work are coming too. We'll be going to the Peanut Festival on Saturday night and frolicking outside as much as possible. There will be much fried food and beef involved. Let's hope Bud Lamar decides to behave this time.

Halloween

Party at Lauren's. Rode to Frenchmen Street with sexy Hermione and a Dementor. Saw a few friends then headed to a party in the French Quarter. A fabulous house party with giant chandeliers, lovely food and drinks, and plenty of friends. A good time was had by all. (See above photo for proof.)

Ziggy

Another poem. This one's for my Troy peoples.

Ziggy
In honor of Zigmund Mazur

I move slowly
And speak slowly
I am a lowly truck driver
Went to Cambridge, Kansas, and Mexico
From Poland
Teach The Dead
But only visiting

PS - Speaking of T-roy, Dr. Day told me in a email that our nemesis, Heir ChairHitler, was detained in China for harassing a flight attendant. The video was on YouTube this summer. Wonders never cease.

Hurrication

So...Hurricane, huh? Dale and I are leaving soon to avoid Gustav. We're headed to my parents place in Alabama that is well out of the storm path. Cross your fingers that New Orleans and the outerlying areas will be ok.

In true New Orleans style, some friends had a decadent dinner of filet mignon, local fishes, and other deliciousness as an excuse to clean out all of our refrigerators. I cannot tell you how good the steak was, but I will say that I thought about it every time I woke up during the night.

Penelope and Jax are very excited to be going on vacation as they have a new, large carrier that they both can ride in comfortably. They refuse to be separated for any period of time, even in different carriers that are right beside each other. Loyola has cancelled on campus operations (we have to have class on Blackboard) through Wednesday, so I'm looking forward to some quiet time with my mom. And by that I mean that we'll be taking advantage of all the Labor Day sales and some of Dothan's finest chain restaurants. Woot-WOOT!

This Time Next Week...

I'll be in Mexico.

Another One

One of my favorites...

Dinner with Ben

We sat at the funky Mexican place
Just followed the flashing arrow
To our table in the shade
In a city neither one of us called home

We drank our nerves
In Modelo Negros
While we talked about college
And our little sisters

Almost didn’t recognize you
On the way back to the table
With your scruffy beard
That I immediately love

I haven’t seen you since that night three years ago
When you stayed
But you’re the same in all the right ways

We hug like two hours before
And as you walk to your truck, I want you to call me back
And take me home
While we’re drunk enough not to be shy

*Comments and suggestions welcome.

Ummm...poem?

Never though of myself as a writer, especially not a writer of poems, but I found quite a few while going through some of my files today. Here's one in honor of summer in the South...let me know what you think.

Mosquitoes
6/21/05

Oh god, that’s good
Ankle, ankle, top of foot
And that big one on the back of my right knee
Feels so good

But it won’t later
When clear ooze comes
Where blood later will

They do not stop
And they get my neck
An unexpected elbow

As I rub and scratch and try
Not to scratch
Like everyone told me

He buzzes around my ear
My lips
And crawls up my pants

I give in
With no repellant in sight

Oh, Dale and I are writing a screenplay this summer. Ask me how it's going later.

Famous People I've Seen Lately

Lots of women at the Vagina Monologues: Eve Ensler, Jane Fonda, Ali Larter, Rosario Dawson, Kerry Washington, Jennifer Beals, Didi Conn, Christine Lahti, Liz Mikel, Doris Roberts, and Jennifer Hudson. Wonderful performances by all these women. I cried a bunch.
Famous people who did not show up to perform (but were scheduled to) at the Vagina Monologues: OPRAH, Selma Hayek, Jessica Alba, and Glenn Close. I'm not sure I will ever forgive these people for bailing on us.

Everclear. Always a great band. I especially loved it when Art Alexakis invited women onstage to dance and then asked some of them to leave because they were dancing "like strippers." He graciously informed them that his stage was about "rockin" not about grinding on your girlfriends.

Alison Kraus, Robert Plant, and T-Bone Burnett. At JassFest. Beyond amazing...

Sheryl Crow at JazzFest also. Fun performance and she seemed really happy to be in New Orleans.

Alton Brown! Meet personal hero...check! He had a book signing at the Octavia Book Store and was absolutely wonderful. He took time with each person, made jokes, and most importantly--touched me (shook my hand)! I took Dale just in case I forgot how to talk when I saw him, but I was very casual as if I meet famous people everyday. And for those of you who are wondering, he is even cuter in person.

Misty Water-Colored Memories of the Way We Were (Gonna Run a Marathon)

Remember all that marathon and half-marathon talk? Ahhh, those were the days. Takes me back to those idealistic fall afternoons of jogging in Audobon Park... Wow, we were such kids then!

For those of you who were following along, Elizabeth, Dale, and I were planning to run the Mardi Gras Marathon at the end of February. Then Elizabeth dropped out from a hip injury and I realized that running for more than an hour was boring, so I cut back to a half-marathon. Then I got sick a little and got assigned a Saturday morning class and decided that I didn't want to spend my only day off running for hours or being tired from running for hours. Dale also caught my ambition-itis and called off his run as well. He and I agreed that it didn't work with our schedules right now.

But I'm running a half-marathon next year. I promise.

These days, I work out in my cozy gym--the St. Charles Athletic Club--and am not doing any outdoor running. I became discouraged after several men made rude comments to me as I was running down the street. (One of them was pushing an infant in a stroller with two small children walking beside him. The nerve! I really regret not embarrassing him in front of his kids.) Evidently, there's nothing more attractive than me running in my baseball cap, baggy t-shirt, and sport capris. Who knew?

Other than that, I'm really ready for this semester to be over. The schedule of UNO classes plus my part time job is killing me, and I'm ready for summer. I'm also a vegan now. Well, for one more week. It's something I'm trying as a spring detox, and it's working well. Not a huge difference, but I can tell that my body's working better.

Right now I'm watching The Goonies, grading papers, and writing to you, Internet. So glad we're talking again.

New Hair

Now 50% as Crazy

A few months ago I decided to run a marathon. Well, I'm glad that's over.

I didn't give up completely though (I've just missed a few runs, ok?), but I have altered my plan back to the original plan of running a half-marathon. It all seems much more manageable. To really stick it to myself, I have decided to try some speed training and run the 13.1 miles in about 2 1/2 hours. So there. That's the goal.

Other than that, I'm really, really glad to be done grading proficiency exams. I haven't had much sleep in the past few days because I grade from 8:30 - 4:00 and then work on challenge folders...(sigh). Now I'm recupe-ing by watching Buffy dvd's and cuddling with Nelly and Jax. This is what I signed up for.

As for the Running

The Running (which is actually slow jogging) is going fine. I'm scheduled to go for an hour this weekend, so I'll let you know how that goes too. I have a fair amount of pain in my knees, calves, and feet, but glucosamine and advil seem to be helping for now.

My Eyes Are Old

For the first time in years, I went to the eye doctor. Sure, I needed to go, but this trip was a direct result of Dale accidentally throwing out my last pair of contacts that I had stored in small mint julep cups (obviously, those were my contacts, I mean, what was he thinking?). My new health insurance has eye coverage if you use the WalMart vision centers, so a few weeks ago, I went to my appointment.

My first not-knowing-what-to-expect attitude quickly changed to an omg-get-me-out-of-this-bootleg-operation as the doctor measured my eyes with several ruler-like devices before traumatizing me with at least six air puffs to each eye to test eye pressure. This Air Puff test is one thing that I'm really not good at. Needles, giving blood, teeth cleanings, and various other minimally invasive medical procedures are no issue, but I'm equally terrified and incapable of doing the simple test. After I considered leaving while my eyes were being pulverized by air, we went into the office for several tests during which really bright lights were shined at me until my eyes quivered and watered to the point that we had to stop.

The doctor told me I had sensitive eyes. Right, it's my fault.

Then things got better. After the very, very thourough exam, the doctor took a lot of time to tell me what was actually wrong with my eyes and even giving me some exercises to strengthen them. She was really nice, and I began to think that maybe all appointments should be this tough because they made for a very complete report.

She told me my eyes were "iso" rather than "exo" which means that they have a tendency to turn in. Anyone who's seen my embarrassing baby pictures knows that I had a lazy eye when I was born, so that makes sense. Then she said that with my unique combination of substantial near-sightedness and "iso," I could use some mild reading glasses. Yep, reading glasses. My eyes are old.

The doctor also told me that I have some condition that makes me sleepy when I read (which is true), so she was kinda impressed when I said I taught English and read books and papers for a living. I took it to mean that I've overcome my physical limitations to do what I love. Since I wasn't expecting inspiration from the eye doctor, I considered the visit a success, even though my eyes were very glad that it was over.

And I got some cute, black, cat-eye reading glasses out of the deal.

Sign the Papers, I'm Crazy.

Three years ago this Halloween, my friend Sarah and I ran a 5K to promote "Safe Dating," aka stop violence and sexual crimes against women. It was a bit of a debaucle. I had trained for months for the big 3 mile (yes, just 3) run, but I changed my routine the day of the race and really screwed myself over. On that lovely October morning in New Jersey, I woke up and decided that we'd be hungry after the race, so I prepared some veggie jambalaya (Sarah's a vegetarian). In loading the pot with onions and garlic, I got evil, burny onion and garlic fumes in my not-yet-contacted eyes; therefore, when I tried to put my contacts in, I cried in pain and decided to run in my glasses. No big deal, but it made for a miserable run with me sniffling from the spicy food and pushing my glasses up on my nose every few steps.

Since that run was such a success (ha...ha), I resolved to run a 10K sometime the next year. Well, several years have passed and there's been no organized running for me, so of course I've decided to ruin all that bodily comfort and blissful laziness by running a half marathon as part of the Mardi Gras marathon. I was thinking it would be my punishment for not getting my butt in gear for that 10K two years ago. Dale, a marathoner extraordinaire (meaning he can do it), has been very supportive and even bought me a book called "The Nonrunner's Guide to the Marathon for Women" (it's not an insult, I requested it). I even started training this week 'cause the actual race is 20 weeks away.

There's more. The crazy part.

Last night, Dale had a wine and cheese birthday get together. I made sure that it was a well-balanced menu of the three most important food groups: yummy cheese, carbs in the form of assorted crackers, and red wine. At approximately the mid-point of the evening when I had put a serious dent in the nutritionally complex dinner, the half-marathon came up. I gave a brief statement of intent, and Dale helpfully pointed out that our friend Elizabeth had run the marathon...twice. She immediately started saying how she did it without doing all that pesky recommended training because she wasn't worried about running fast. This sounded like a great training schedule, so I asked how often she ran, and a how fast, and where, and the list went on. Then, I felt my head bobbing in agreement and heard myself saying "yeah, maybe," and then I realized Elizabeth had just proposed that we run the marathon. Not the half. The MARATHON. 26.2 MILES. After getting some answers from me about my current running skills, she was like "Of course you can do it. No need to be in a hurry. And you'll be so proud of yourself."

Ugh. I think I've agreed to run a marathon. (WHAT?) I'm at least going to get into the training and see what happens.

Some positives: Dawn, the author of my running book, says that my butt will never look better and that I'll be able to eat all the carbs I want. Now, those two things have always been life goals for me--I mean, in my ideal world, my butt will look great and I'll get pizza at every meal--but it seems like a lot of work for a few simple pleasures. Mainly I'm hoping that this training will make me as funny as Dawn because I laughed myself into tears today while reading her book. She also is encouraging me (I will henceforth be speaking of Dawn as if she's a close personal friend) to keep a journal as I train, so you're it blogosphere. Prepare yourself for much complaining. Today was a 3 mile run (the same as the only 5K I've done), and it was ok despite some dehydration and calf tightness after the mile and a half mark. I'm going to learn a lot about my personal limits during the next few months, and y'all get to hear all the gorey details. Just think of it as a gross, boring gossip column written by someone less-than-sane. Lucky you.

Penelope and Jax

Since I'm totally fascinated with the upload function, here's my first photo shoot with the new kitties. The female gray maine coon is Penelope, and the guy in the tuxedo is Jax (named after an old New Orleans beer brewing company). Penelope is named such because she's beautiful, smart, and very self-possessed. She is also a cuddlebaby who loves to curl up right next to you and fall asleep while Jax prefers bounding about the apartment and perfecting his sliding technique on the hardwood floors. Both of them love to keep me company at the computer, as you can see.





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Laurena + Bud = Hitched!

As promised (months ago, but no matter), here are a few pictures of Lauren and Bud's wedding. It was a really nice day...things went as planned, and my hair looked fantastic. And my shoes were really pretty. Oh, but Lauren totally wins because she had a better dress AND she picked up a cute, sweet husband who's good at building stuff. I digress. Photos:
Beautiful profile of sis with her lovely bouquet

One last Ethridge pic

Bud and his oldest son, Kyle. They were precious. During the ceremony, Kyle asked Bud, "Do you know you're getting married right now?" The whole place giggled.

Feather, our angelic flower girl, who behaved just long enough to get down the aisle.

Lauren with Granny (Miss Marcia's mom). These two looked the best out of everyone.


Lauren and Bud at the reception. Bud wasted no time changing clothes



And this is me relaxing during the post-wedding picture fest. Note the pretty shoes.

Thanks for looking!

The Land of the Beast

Ahh, Alabama. Even though I should be familiar with the charm, quirks, and outright offenses of Alabama, sometimes the place surprises me anyway. Well, I have been away for the better part of three years, so bear with me as I expose and revel. The beauty of my home state is often the first thing I notice upon returning. The rolling green hills broken by pine trees, huge oaks, and the lush fields produced by plenty of early summer rain are just gorgeous against the red clay underneath. For the first time in years, my parents' yard was green (as opposed to dry brown) and the heat wasn't too searing. Nighttime brought sitting on the porch with my sister and new brother-in-law and standing in the middle of the driveway, head thrown back, to take in the bright stars that go from horizon to horizon.

Then there are the more harsh social and cultural realities of my stomping grounds. One day while aimlessly riding around with my sister, she took me by an old rural church to show me a road sign. It was one of those small historical markers designating a cemetary, but I could not believe what I read: "Little Rocky Mountain Colored Cemetary". COLORED! and it's a relatively new sign. You see, Little Rocky Mountain is a historically black church, but there's no need to designate the sign as such, and the use of "colored" is backward and offensive and displays a lack of social awareness that plagues my region. Fortunately, everyone I know who's seen the sign is offended, so it's just our county's uninformed historian, Larry Smith who's decidedly out of the cultually/historicaly responsible loop.

In addition to the thinly veiled racism, there's the blatant disregard for the environment. A place that's so concerned with being Christian, one might think that people would also want to protect "creation." It is beautiful, after all, but the notion of recycling or just not throwing beer cans out the window is as foreign as New York City. And to make things worse (or perhaps just predictably), the roadside beer trash is almost always Natural Light or Milwalkee's Best, or "The Beast," as known to tailgate drinkers and frat bros everywhere. For me it's an approprate symbol for the narrow-minded, distasteful, and sometimes horrible behavior thrown into an otherwise lovely landscape.

Ok, now that I've ranted a bit, I'll run through some of the things that I truly love about being at home on the farm.
1. Lots of really nice people who love you or are at least concerned with what you're doing.
2. People who celebrate "crazy" as a regional pastime
3. People who know how to appreciate my firecracker onion rings that I laboriously made in a cast iron pot over a gas flame (yes, it was at a fish fry)
4. Convenience stores (which are combined with gas stations) smell of bacon...comforting
5. Where biscuits are a viable choice for wedding reception food (I learned this while choosing my sister's catering menu)
6. Where people cry when they're happy to see you and tell you that's why they're crying
7. Where things are familiar from store names to clothing styles to accents (this may be my favorite one)

Save the Fuzzballs!

Ok, so still no wedding photos, but they haven't been developed yet, so I have an excuse. Instead, I'll have to entertain you with stories of my homeland.

Happily, there are many kittens hanging around my house these days. They're mostly little orange tabby kittens, but none of the little fuzzies want to have anything to do with humans. This became painfully obvious to me one day as I was trying to save one's life. See, my dad had shoulder surgery a few months ago, and I was driving him to a check up in Columbus, GA, when we heard a soft mewing from somewhere under the car. After pulling over and crawling under the car, then getting under there again at the vet's office, we took the car to a local dealership to see if they would have any luck. I was totally distraught at this point, near tears, and really angry at my father who kept worrying about making the appointment on time. The dealership said it was a common problem and took off just the right panel to remove the little thing, but he jumped out and hid in the inner-workings of another car. Another panel removal...another car for the kitty. Finally, we popped the hood on the third vehicle (a huge truck) and the tiny orange kitten was sitting on top of the motor. I plucked him up by the back of the neck and wrestled him out of the tubes and gauges. I managed to hold on to him long enough to get him in the car where bit my mother's finger and got away from me again, but one of the nice mechanics gave me a soft shop towel to put over him and he quieted down. We boarded him at the vet for the afternoon and headed on to the doctor. Mom picked up the kitten on her way home and carefully dumped him outside, but the little thing just scampered away and still has no idea that we saved his life. He has joined the brigade of other stray cats that we have--Baby, the small calico who seems to be the source of all the kittens; Orange Kitty, a really mean, fluffy tabby who humps everything in sight; Knot, a gray and black tabby who has a hairless spot in the middle of his tail; Miscellaneous kitties, this is a rotating feline crew of tabbies and calicos who live under our garage. We love them, we feed them, and we get no thanks for saving their lives. I mean, anyone who knows cats knows that they regard humans as a convenient source of food and attention. Catlovers be warned...the kitties remain ungrateful.

Update

So graduation went well. It happened despite my suspicions to the contrary, and it ended up being a nice day. Buist did an amazing job of delivering a touching and funny speech as senior speaker, (here we are after graduation),
and Richard Codey (the guy who took over for McGreevey) was nice, brief, and down to earth. Our president said a lot of stuff that no one believed, but whatever. The graduate school was left out of the ceremony for the most part. Some awards were given by the undergrads and the theo school, but the grad school gave no presentations. There were speakers for the undergrads and for the the theo school, but not for the grad school. Supposedly, we're supposed to be represented by the theological school at graduation, but I don't remember being asked to nominate any one for our speaker or anything. It just goes to show that the president of our university views the graduate school as the red-headed stepchild of the university. We also got rained on a little because the president insisted on having the ceremony outside...did I mention he was under the porch roof?

Enough about that. We had a lovely reception at the cafeteria where we gathered by majors and schools, and I got to see people for what would be the last time. I did some last minute inviting of people to the dinner that John and Yvette were having for me, and we had a really good crowd at the party later. If any of you are reading this now, thanks again for coming! The Vieiras made me a lovely scrapbook, served us fabulous food (as usual), and didn't kid me too much when I almost cried in front of everyone. I'm really going to miss them, but they're coming down in November for the Peanut Festival, so that'll be fun. The next morning, I dropped Daddy, Lauren, and Granny at the airport and said goodbye to Sarah, Brandon, Buist and the Bickley's (hey everybody, miss you). Around noon, mom and I set out driving my stuff home in a car that was so full that we couldn't open the back doors. To put more stuff in, we just stuffed it back there from the front seat. Mom joked that we couldn't have gotten another sheet of paper in there, and she may have been right. We made it through Virginia the first day (my goal), and stayed at a hotel in NC for the night. We got home at about 4:30 the next day, so we totally made great time. It was a good trip and seemed much shorter than the ride up there. By the way, my little car is so happy to be back in Alabama. Even though she's dirty and needs an oil change.

Home is good right now. The wedding is just a few days away, so we're doing final preparations and errands for that. Mom and I met the caterers the other day and picked out the menu. They thought it was so funny that the bride's mother and sister were planning everything. It works out though because we enjoy it, and Lauren trusts us. We get her opinion, do research, present options, and then she chooses. It's a great system that has really worked for this wedding. Looks like I won't be reading anything at the wedding, but that's ok. I plan to be sedated so I don't cry hysterically when my sister and father come walking down the aisle... Now that it's almost here, I'm really looking forward to a fun wedding on Saturday. Lauren's pretty laid back about these things, so let's hope that continues on Saturday.

For now, I'm teaching English and reading with Upward Bound on campus at Troy University. I was an R.A. with the program for two years in college at Troy and had a great time (except when that girl keyed my car), so it's good to be working with them again. We have class from 8:00-12:00 and then again at 2:00. It's a good summer job, and my living situation couldn't have worked out better. I originally thought I was going to have to migrate from one friend's couch to another (my mother's been joking about my gypsy existence lately), but a friend of the family owns a house here and offered me one of her son's rooms. It's just minutes from campus, and it's a huge, 4 bedroom house with a pool and wireless internet, so I really couldn't be happier. Well, maybe if there were shirtless men to clean the pool and rub my feet at night, but other than that it's idea.

After the wedding, I'm going to attempt to put up some pictures. Wish me luck and stay tuned.

It's OFFICIAL!

Ok, so when I said I was graduating earlier, that was just speculation. I mean, I passed my defense and all, but I still had to make revisions. But...I just found out my final draft was passed! Definately graduating. And a good thing too because I just bought a graduation dress. And I get to wear the cool Master's degree graduation garb. This is all terribly exciting.