Dale's Birthday Present

For Dale's birthday (yes, back in October), I lovingly made a slideshow of old photos with the hopes of embarrassing him greatly as my contribution to the thorough roasting that several friends gave him.

Judy and Jerry, Dale's parents, secretly provided the pictures with enough info to make a lovely (and very effective) show. Though some of the captions didn't come through at his party, we had a lot of laughs at Dale's expense, but he enjoyed them too. So to share these pictures with Judy, Jerry, and others who would like to see them, I'm finally posting everything here.

Oh, the pictures are organized in memory of Dale's hair...

"Oh Behave! A Tribute to the Early Years of Dale's Hair"



"A long, long, LONG time ago, in a galaxy far, far away (called Virginia)... Dale found his first hair hero..."





"Excited about his first den meeting, Dale is disappointed at the lack of chicks in Boy Scouts."





"Macaulay Culkin?"

"The Patriotic Big Hair Phase" Interestingly, he seems most excited about some sort of hair product...

After obtaining appropriate styling tools, Dale begins the quest of which he had been dreaming: Getting Dates. Though he seems to have started with a more traditional approach, Dale soon realizes that he'll have to dress more creatively to get girls.
"May I Have this Dance?"


Wow! That's a lot of creativity!

The Footloose Period: After the smashing gray tux and multi-scarf ensemble went out of style, Dale decided that "bass player" should be his new look. He tapped several of his closest friends to form a band--The Diff'rents--and to experiment with varying degrees of undress. Note: With close study, one can see the genesis of many of Dale's Mardi Gras costumes.





Dale's hair goes to the prom...

Skipping a few hundred years or so...


Rest In Peace, Hair. You are gone, but not forgotten...

Crazy Candy

So last night, for a variety of reasons I probably shouldn't go into, I needed something chocolate. [Sidebar - I'm refusing to believe that this new sweet tooth is proof that I'm getting more and more like my mother. I'm freaked out at my fairly recent cravings for sweets, and am somewhat ashamed to admit I could probably replace a meal per day with just dessert. I'm blaming this on random lady hormones, because no matter how much I love my mom, I don't want to turn into her. Not yet.] {Sidebar #2 - When my sister and I were little, we would often tell my mother that we wanted to be just like her when we grew up (we've always adored her), except we didn't want to smoke cigarettes. Our passive-aggressiveness as pre-adolescents was impressive in retrospect, and perhaps even more remarkable is my mother's refusal to stop smoking. I mean, wouldn't two precious little girls with matching long permed hair tied back with giant bows who say things like that convince you to stop smoking? Heart of steel, that woman.} Remembering the caramel and chocolate swirl chips I picked up a few weeks ago at a wonderful discount grocery store, I decided to whip up some chocolate chip cookies. But the butter wasn't soft and I had only self-rising flour. Then I thought brownies might be a viable option since Brandon always made brownies by melting the butter in the brownie baking dish; therefore, I would not have to let the butter soften. But the brownie recipes I found were too complicated (unlike Brandon's mom's never-fail recipe that I did not have).

As my brain raced from ingredient to ingredient in the pantry trying to tie in refrigerator items, I decided I had the stuff to make some sort of candy similar to what my friends call "Those Cornflake Peanut Butter Things." But not having enough peanut butter or cornflakes, I took the opportunity to create. 'Cause that's what cooking really is, right?

While all this was going on in my head, Dale was putting away dishes in the kitchen and offering affirmative yummy noises when I suggested cookies or brownies. I didn't verbalize my candy-making thoughts, but I did notice that he left the room and went to play WoW (his default activity) when I clanged a large non-stick pot on the stove and poured the remainder of a bottle of corn syrup into it with the focused enthusiasm of Igor with specific orders. In went marshmallows, some cocoa powder, about half a bag of the caramel chocolate swirl chips, and about half a bag of corn chex cereal. Having measured none of these ingredients, I commented, "I kind of feel like a crazy person right now," referring to the seemingly random sugary-stuff-in-a-pot that I was compiling. As I stirred and threw in more marshmallows to contrast with the shiny chocolateness of what used to be healthy cereal, Dale replied, "I wasn't going to say anything..." He understands me. Isn't that great.

I had a good giggle at myself and at Dale's reaction then spooned the "crazy candy" onto some wax paper. A few minutes of drying time produced delicious sticky choco-liciousness that tasted mostly like cocoa krispies (unintentionally so, but one of my favorites). All in all, the crazy candy worked out well, and Dale joined in the tasting fun, while playing WoW of course. Since I'm still planning on running the half-marathon this Sunday, I'm pretending that the candy is good "fuel." That works, right?

Oh. About that Half Marathon

I'm really doing it this time! February 1st, baby! Wooooooo... (see how I have to work myself up for it?). Training is going well. I'm getting to that stage where I feel like I could just run all day which is a nice change from thinking I couldn't make it to the end of the block. I slacked off for a week and a half and my calves are paying for it now, but overall, the running is good.

I've already gone 8 miles this week + the 5 more I have to do today. Looks like those will be in the gym as opposed to the stupid coldy snow/sleet/rain stuff that's falling outside. I promise to post some super-hardbody pics of me whenever that happens, i.e. never.

Winter Activities and Events

Apocalypse Alert: At about 8am this morning, SNOW began to fall in New Orleans. Even though snow is commonly associated with winter, my granny would most likely attribute this to the End Times. Her first reason would probably be that it doesn't usually snow in the deep south; therefore, it's a sign of unseasonable weather=Jesus is coming back soon. Another might be that the snow is contradictory to the global warming phenomenon that most of "them uppity science people" claim is happening. That means the snow is double-unseasonable (going against God and science)=End of Days.

(I should explain here that my granny really doesn't talk like that. She's a very sweet woman, and I love her dearly. However, she consistently brought up the end of the world when I was little and made me terrified that I wouldn't live past 10. I used to pray very earnestly and ask God not to end the world so I could go to college. I've never really forgiven her for that.)

I'm coping with the snow by wearing a fluffy pink robe and snuggling anything within reach. Other than that I'm trying to use up all the peanuts I got last month while in Alabama for the Peanut Festival. They make delicious peanut brittle...

Oxford University and Alabama

Researchers at Oxford University complied this list of the ten most annoying phrases in the English language:

1 - At the end of the day
2 - Fairly unique
3 - I personally
4 - At this moment in time
5 - With all due respect
6 - Absolutely
7 - It's a nightmare
8 - Shouldn't of
9 - 24/7
10 - It's not rocket science

I would like to add:
11 - Now-a-days or Nowadays (for some reason, students believe this word exists)
12 - In today's society (a beautifully non-specific one)
13 - Since the beginning of time ('cause people just starting college are certainly experts on pre-history!)

In an effort to stop by complaining, I'm headed home to Alabama for the weekend. Some friends from work are coming too. We'll be going to the Peanut Festival on Saturday night and frolicking outside as much as possible. There will be much fried food and beef involved. Let's hope Bud Lamar decides to behave this time.

Halloween

Party at Lauren's. Rode to Frenchmen Street with sexy Hermione and a Dementor. Saw a few friends then headed to a party in the French Quarter. A fabulous house party with giant chandeliers, lovely food and drinks, and plenty of friends. A good time was had by all. (See above photo for proof.)

Ziggy

Another poem. This one's for my Troy peoples.

Ziggy
In honor of Zigmund Mazur

I move slowly
And speak slowly
I am a lowly truck driver
Went to Cambridge, Kansas, and Mexico
From Poland
Teach The Dead
But only visiting

PS - Speaking of T-roy, Dr. Day told me in a email that our nemesis, Heir ChairHitler, was detained in China for harassing a flight attendant. The video was on YouTube this summer. Wonders never cease.

Hurrication

So...Hurricane, huh? Dale and I are leaving soon to avoid Gustav. We're headed to my parents place in Alabama that is well out of the storm path. Cross your fingers that New Orleans and the outerlying areas will be ok.

In true New Orleans style, some friends had a decadent dinner of filet mignon, local fishes, and other deliciousness as an excuse to clean out all of our refrigerators. I cannot tell you how good the steak was, but I will say that I thought about it every time I woke up during the night.

Penelope and Jax are very excited to be going on vacation as they have a new, large carrier that they both can ride in comfortably. They refuse to be separated for any period of time, even in different carriers that are right beside each other. Loyola has cancelled on campus operations (we have to have class on Blackboard) through Wednesday, so I'm looking forward to some quiet time with my mom. And by that I mean that we'll be taking advantage of all the Labor Day sales and some of Dothan's finest chain restaurants. Woot-WOOT!

This Time Next Week...

I'll be in Mexico.

Another One

One of my favorites...

Dinner with Ben

We sat at the funky Mexican place
Just followed the flashing arrow
To our table in the shade
In a city neither one of us called home

We drank our nerves
In Modelo Negros
While we talked about college
And our little sisters

Almost didn’t recognize you
On the way back to the table
With your scruffy beard
That I immediately love

I haven’t seen you since that night three years ago
When you stayed
But you’re the same in all the right ways

We hug like two hours before
And as you walk to your truck, I want you to call me back
And take me home
While we’re drunk enough not to be shy

*Comments and suggestions welcome.

Ummm...poem?

Never though of myself as a writer, especially not a writer of poems, but I found quite a few while going through some of my files today. Here's one in honor of summer in the South...let me know what you think.

Mosquitoes
6/21/05

Oh god, that’s good
Ankle, ankle, top of foot
And that big one on the back of my right knee
Feels so good

But it won’t later
When clear ooze comes
Where blood later will

They do not stop
And they get my neck
An unexpected elbow

As I rub and scratch and try
Not to scratch
Like everyone told me

He buzzes around my ear
My lips
And crawls up my pants

I give in
With no repellant in sight

Oh, Dale and I are writing a screenplay this summer. Ask me how it's going later.

Famous People I've Seen Lately

Lots of women at the Vagina Monologues: Eve Ensler, Jane Fonda, Ali Larter, Rosario Dawson, Kerry Washington, Jennifer Beals, Didi Conn, Christine Lahti, Liz Mikel, Doris Roberts, and Jennifer Hudson. Wonderful performances by all these women. I cried a bunch.
Famous people who did not show up to perform (but were scheduled to) at the Vagina Monologues: OPRAH, Selma Hayek, Jessica Alba, and Glenn Close. I'm not sure I will ever forgive these people for bailing on us.

Everclear. Always a great band. I especially loved it when Art Alexakis invited women onstage to dance and then asked some of them to leave because they were dancing "like strippers." He graciously informed them that his stage was about "rockin" not about grinding on your girlfriends.

Alison Kraus, Robert Plant, and T-Bone Burnett. At JassFest. Beyond amazing...

Sheryl Crow at JazzFest also. Fun performance and she seemed really happy to be in New Orleans.

Alton Brown! Meet personal hero...check! He had a book signing at the Octavia Book Store and was absolutely wonderful. He took time with each person, made jokes, and most importantly--touched me (shook my hand)! I took Dale just in case I forgot how to talk when I saw him, but I was very casual as if I meet famous people everyday. And for those of you who are wondering, he is even cuter in person.

Misty Water-Colored Memories of the Way We Were (Gonna Run a Marathon)

Remember all that marathon and half-marathon talk? Ahhh, those were the days. Takes me back to those idealistic fall afternoons of jogging in Audobon Park... Wow, we were such kids then!

For those of you who were following along, Elizabeth, Dale, and I were planning to run the Mardi Gras Marathon at the end of February. Then Elizabeth dropped out from a hip injury and I realized that running for more than an hour was boring, so I cut back to a half-marathon. Then I got sick a little and got assigned a Saturday morning class and decided that I didn't want to spend my only day off running for hours or being tired from running for hours. Dale also caught my ambition-itis and called off his run as well. He and I agreed that it didn't work with our schedules right now.

But I'm running a half-marathon next year. I promise.

These days, I work out in my cozy gym--the St. Charles Athletic Club--and am not doing any outdoor running. I became discouraged after several men made rude comments to me as I was running down the street. (One of them was pushing an infant in a stroller with two small children walking beside him. The nerve! I really regret not embarrassing him in front of his kids.) Evidently, there's nothing more attractive than me running in my baseball cap, baggy t-shirt, and sport capris. Who knew?

Other than that, I'm really ready for this semester to be over. The schedule of UNO classes plus my part time job is killing me, and I'm ready for summer. I'm also a vegan now. Well, for one more week. It's something I'm trying as a spring detox, and it's working well. Not a huge difference, but I can tell that my body's working better.

Right now I'm watching The Goonies, grading papers, and writing to you, Internet. So glad we're talking again.

New Hair

Now 50% as Crazy

A few months ago I decided to run a marathon. Well, I'm glad that's over.

I didn't give up completely though (I've just missed a few runs, ok?), but I have altered my plan back to the original plan of running a half-marathon. It all seems much more manageable. To really stick it to myself, I have decided to try some speed training and run the 13.1 miles in about 2 1/2 hours. So there. That's the goal.

Other than that, I'm really, really glad to be done grading proficiency exams. I haven't had much sleep in the past few days because I grade from 8:30 - 4:00 and then work on challenge folders...(sigh). Now I'm recupe-ing by watching Buffy dvd's and cuddling with Nelly and Jax. This is what I signed up for.

As for the Running

The Running (which is actually slow jogging) is going fine. I'm scheduled to go for an hour this weekend, so I'll let you know how that goes too. I have a fair amount of pain in my knees, calves, and feet, but glucosamine and advil seem to be helping for now.

My Eyes Are Old

For the first time in years, I went to the eye doctor. Sure, I needed to go, but this trip was a direct result of Dale accidentally throwing out my last pair of contacts that I had stored in small mint julep cups (obviously, those were my contacts, I mean, what was he thinking?). My new health insurance has eye coverage if you use the WalMart vision centers, so a few weeks ago, I went to my appointment.

My first not-knowing-what-to-expect attitude quickly changed to an omg-get-me-out-of-this-bootleg-operation as the doctor measured my eyes with several ruler-like devices before traumatizing me with at least six air puffs to each eye to test eye pressure. This Air Puff test is one thing that I'm really not good at. Needles, giving blood, teeth cleanings, and various other minimally invasive medical procedures are no issue, but I'm equally terrified and incapable of doing the simple test. After I considered leaving while my eyes were being pulverized by air, we went into the office for several tests during which really bright lights were shined at me until my eyes quivered and watered to the point that we had to stop.

The doctor told me I had sensitive eyes. Right, it's my fault.

Then things got better. After the very, very thourough exam, the doctor took a lot of time to tell me what was actually wrong with my eyes and even giving me some exercises to strengthen them. She was really nice, and I began to think that maybe all appointments should be this tough because they made for a very complete report.

She told me my eyes were "iso" rather than "exo" which means that they have a tendency to turn in. Anyone who's seen my embarrassing baby pictures knows that I had a lazy eye when I was born, so that makes sense. Then she said that with my unique combination of substantial near-sightedness and "iso," I could use some mild reading glasses. Yep, reading glasses. My eyes are old.

The doctor also told me that I have some condition that makes me sleepy when I read (which is true), so she was kinda impressed when I said I taught English and read books and papers for a living. I took it to mean that I've overcome my physical limitations to do what I love. Since I wasn't expecting inspiration from the eye doctor, I considered the visit a success, even though my eyes were very glad that it was over.

And I got some cute, black, cat-eye reading glasses out of the deal.

Sign the Papers, I'm Crazy.

Three years ago this Halloween, my friend Sarah and I ran a 5K to promote "Safe Dating," aka stop violence and sexual crimes against women. It was a bit of a debaucle. I had trained for months for the big 3 mile (yes, just 3) run, but I changed my routine the day of the race and really screwed myself over. On that lovely October morning in New Jersey, I woke up and decided that we'd be hungry after the race, so I prepared some veggie jambalaya (Sarah's a vegetarian). In loading the pot with onions and garlic, I got evil, burny onion and garlic fumes in my not-yet-contacted eyes; therefore, when I tried to put my contacts in, I cried in pain and decided to run in my glasses. No big deal, but it made for a miserable run with me sniffling from the spicy food and pushing my glasses up on my nose every few steps.

Since that run was such a success (ha...ha), I resolved to run a 10K sometime the next year. Well, several years have passed and there's been no organized running for me, so of course I've decided to ruin all that bodily comfort and blissful laziness by running a half marathon as part of the Mardi Gras marathon. I was thinking it would be my punishment for not getting my butt in gear for that 10K two years ago. Dale, a marathoner extraordinaire (meaning he can do it), has been very supportive and even bought me a book called "The Nonrunner's Guide to the Marathon for Women" (it's not an insult, I requested it). I even started training this week 'cause the actual race is 20 weeks away.

There's more. The crazy part.

Last night, Dale had a wine and cheese birthday get together. I made sure that it was a well-balanced menu of the three most important food groups: yummy cheese, carbs in the form of assorted crackers, and red wine. At approximately the mid-point of the evening when I had put a serious dent in the nutritionally complex dinner, the half-marathon came up. I gave a brief statement of intent, and Dale helpfully pointed out that our friend Elizabeth had run the marathon...twice. She immediately started saying how she did it without doing all that pesky recommended training because she wasn't worried about running fast. This sounded like a great training schedule, so I asked how often she ran, and a how fast, and where, and the list went on. Then, I felt my head bobbing in agreement and heard myself saying "yeah, maybe," and then I realized Elizabeth had just proposed that we run the marathon. Not the half. The MARATHON. 26.2 MILES. After getting some answers from me about my current running skills, she was like "Of course you can do it. No need to be in a hurry. And you'll be so proud of yourself."

Ugh. I think I've agreed to run a marathon. (WHAT?) I'm at least going to get into the training and see what happens.

Some positives: Dawn, the author of my running book, says that my butt will never look better and that I'll be able to eat all the carbs I want. Now, those two things have always been life goals for me--I mean, in my ideal world, my butt will look great and I'll get pizza at every meal--but it seems like a lot of work for a few simple pleasures. Mainly I'm hoping that this training will make me as funny as Dawn because I laughed myself into tears today while reading her book. She also is encouraging me (I will henceforth be speaking of Dawn as if she's a close personal friend) to keep a journal as I train, so you're it blogosphere. Prepare yourself for much complaining. Today was a 3 mile run (the same as the only 5K I've done), and it was ok despite some dehydration and calf tightness after the mile and a half mark. I'm going to learn a lot about my personal limits during the next few months, and y'all get to hear all the gorey details. Just think of it as a gross, boring gossip column written by someone less-than-sane. Lucky you.

Penelope and Jax

Since I'm totally fascinated with the upload function, here's my first photo shoot with the new kitties. The female gray maine coon is Penelope, and the guy in the tuxedo is Jax (named after an old New Orleans beer brewing company). Penelope is named such because she's beautiful, smart, and very self-possessed. She is also a cuddlebaby who loves to curl up right next to you and fall asleep while Jax prefers bounding about the apartment and perfecting his sliding technique on the hardwood floors. Both of them love to keep me company at the computer, as you can see.





+118.jpg">

Laurena + Bud = Hitched!

As promised (months ago, but no matter), here are a few pictures of Lauren and Bud's wedding. It was a really nice day...things went as planned, and my hair looked fantastic. And my shoes were really pretty. Oh, but Lauren totally wins because she had a better dress AND she picked up a cute, sweet husband who's good at building stuff. I digress. Photos:
Beautiful profile of sis with her lovely bouquet

One last Ethridge pic

Bud and his oldest son, Kyle. They were precious. During the ceremony, Kyle asked Bud, "Do you know you're getting married right now?" The whole place giggled.

Feather, our angelic flower girl, who behaved just long enough to get down the aisle.

Lauren with Granny (Miss Marcia's mom). These two looked the best out of everyone.


Lauren and Bud at the reception. Bud wasted no time changing clothes



And this is me relaxing during the post-wedding picture fest. Note the pretty shoes.

Thanks for looking!