Thursday, July 29, 2010

All Over the Place

So my dad's not doing well. He's in the hospital in Birmingham for some kidney issues that will have to be solved before anyone can focus on his bladder cancer. Yes, cancer. I've been trying to get used to saying it for months. We found out that he had tumors in his bladder on January 13, and though doctors have tried surgery and were going to try some localized chemo, nothing productive has been done since he was diagnosed.

Now there are questions about the extent of the cancer, the location, and the treatment. And yesterday, he got sick with vomiting and a 102 fever that we find is elevated creatinine and BUN levels in his kidneys. We're not sure what this means or what the treatment will be. The doctor, though, has recommended that his bladder be removed. This, as you can imagine, is tough news.

He's been hospitalized in Birmingham to get his kidneys under control, and the doctor says he'll have to wait on surgery until the kidneys get better. To hear that more waiting is the treatment is difficult.

Since Monday, I've been able to do nothing but lie around and watch Angel. And sleep. I suppose this is how depression and worry manifest in my life. This continued today until Dale staged an intervention (while I was still on the couch) and told me he thought I'd feel better if I went to Alabama. I paused Season 5, Episode 4 of Angel to sit up, cry a little, and then nod my head in agreement. I knew I would be better off, but I didn't know if I should go for some reason. My mom was trying to get me to wait and only come for the surgery, but that was obviously making me crazy. When I told my sister I'd be seeing her tomorrow, she sounded so relieved, and that made me feel even better. So it's solved. Alabama ASAP.

To get out of the house, I went to practice tonight and scrimmaged for the first time. That was plenty distracting. Thankfully. The next to last jam, I was jammer (super-tired and not really good at the moving part) and managed to fall really, really hard--like 1.5 backwards flips hard--onto my "involved" knee [thanks Slaughter]. I yelped in terror and imagined pain only to find out that it didn't hurt me and my fancy knee brace saved it. Thankfully again. That might have been too much today.