Lots of friends and family from home ask me the question that seems to encompass the success of my whole life, "Dating anybody?" Though I treat it casually and almost always say "Nah" because of my need for privacy since my mom read my journal in seventh grade then gave me a talk on how making out with boys was wrong and because of my family's tendency to assume I'm on the road to marriage with some guy simply because I've mentioned his name (a rarity since I don't talk about boys too much). It's a vicious cycle of being kinda sneaky, keeping my sanity,and giving anyone I might be dating a little peace in knowing that they won't be tracked down by my father and forced to confess their intentions (that actually wouldn't happen, but boys seem to have this misconception of my dad). My mother always tiptoes around the subject with me, tries hard not to ask too many questions as to offend me, and is very thankful when I share even the smallest amount of information with her. But I've starting seeing someone who's wonderful, and I'm proud to tell my mother about him.
"Mom, meet Netflix. He and I have been seeing each other for a few months now, and he's wonderful."
It's true. I'm dating a DVD's-in-the-mail movie service. Luckily, I'm not the only woman who relies on technology for companionship (no, not that kind of electronic device).
Miranda, of Sex and the City, recently confessed in a rerun on TBS that she too had dated outside her species for a while. Her boyfriend's name was Tivo, and she just went on and on about how she was having fun with the girls--Carrie, Charlotte and Samantha--while her understanding man was home taping her favorite shows for her. AND he even recorded things that she might like to see based on previous preferences she had told him. He does sound wonderful, and when she admits that she's dating an electronic recording device, I wanted to stand with her and proclaim my total satisfaction with my own man.
Netflix even let's me see other men who I'm attracted to. Right now, Ewan McGregor and Eddie Izzard are on the way to my apartment. And I can keep them for as long as I want and Netflix never gets angry. He's there with my when I cry over sappy movies, when I laugh and the funniness of people and when I hate a movie enough to stop watching it midway through. He always agrees with me and supports my decisions. And all I have to do is pay for it. Wait...is my boyfriend a prostitute?
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3 comments:
Woo, funny. Getting a boyfriend of your own species might impede on the Netflix, though. I love Dominic, but he loves crappy movies. And I'm like, Sundance, Woo! So, when I use Netflix, it's like I'm cheating on my husband.
Anyway.
Ya gotta do, ya know.
Didn't I turn you on to Netflix? Do I get some credit as matchmaker?
In a completely unrelated topic, I just realized a problem with blogs - I feel completed connected and caught up with Kate&Dominic even though I haven't spoken to them or written them directly in weeks. Isn't that ... odd?
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