Friday, March 24, 2006

Ben S., If You're Gay, Call Me

So, I think about six months ago, actually last September 20th, my friend Kate wrote me a long email that included shocking and important information. I saved the email (my memory's not quite that good) because, for some reason, her revelation resonated with me in a way that I have only recently realized.

She reported that the guy she went on a first date with has since come out of the closet as a gay man. Like I said, at the time, I didn't fully understand what that meant, but in the months since we've discussed the full potential of what something like this means. I have also met this man--let's call him John because that's his real name--and really liked him. He's a good looking, nice, smart, funny, impressive dresser in that laid back way, and I can totally understand how she would have fallen for him...I certainly would have.

And as for that, it's highly possible that I've dated some men who now identify as gay. For a few years now, when I think someone is cute, my next thought is that he's probably not into women. But that may have been something I got into in college.

Back to the cosmic implications: Kate came to the conclusion that it wasn't her he rejected, it was her whole gender which cancelled out the fact that there was ever any rejection at all. What a wonderfully liberating feeling. In cases like this, when someone says they don't want to see you anymore, or when things just trail off as they do in high school, it really is them!

Then I thought it would be great if guys I used to date, or have crushes on, or high-school-love, were gay then that would take all the pressure off me that I did something wrong or missed my chance. So this is my wish: Boys that used to date me (especially the person mentioned in the title) but I'm sure don't read any of this....If you're gay, call me!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This dovetails nicely with a long-standing theory I've had that the best way to get women in the first place is to pretend you're gay. Never say it outright, but slip in little comments about how much you love Golden Girls and Rufus Wainwright, and women will automatically think of you as much less threatening, thereby lowering their defenses. Then you... um... well, actually I don't know what you do at that point. I've never been successful with my theory.

Anonymous said...

Brooke, I appreciate this blog. This is the kind of rationalization that only the mind of a woman can make...genius! I appreciated it to yet another degree when I referred back to the title.
Oh how the mind works!!
Love and miss you,
Laci